Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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