He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
