he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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