PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Of course I have a pirate flag
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
