I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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