We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
