OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
