I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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