i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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