my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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