I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
