Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Best friends brother. Beat that.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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