Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
