just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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