No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
