can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
