Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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