he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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