I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
