I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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