At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
