My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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