You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
