I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
