I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
