last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
