shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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