I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
