she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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