My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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