Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
