you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
My penis needs a shock collar
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
