all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
