Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
