I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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