i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
