hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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