if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Randomize
