i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
This is my gift to your gina
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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