Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
time to smoke my breakfast
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
