I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
