Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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