i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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