just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
