thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
