On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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