I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
