Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
