I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
