remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
