I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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