two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
