It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
