you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
